At around 10:00 AM this morning, I saw a tweet pop up in my Tweetdeck mentioning something about Canadian author Yann Martel's Life of Pi being green lit to start production. I paid little attention to it...primarily because it was 10:00 AM and I was super swamped with work.
At around 2:00, and my tsunami of work subsided long enough for me to poke my head above water and have a look around the interslice for new and interesting tidbits of film-related knowledge. I stumbled upon an article from Comingsoon.net via Anne Thompson's Thompsononhollywood blog announcing that Life of Pi had indeed been green lit, and that the idea of turning it into a 3D extravaganza is looking very possible.
it seems Ang Lee - who has been attached to the project for a while now - wants to use 3D to create a "3D magical fantasy adventure crammed with visual effects." Meh.
I really liked Life of Pi, and I think Yann Martel is awesome (check out his blog whatisstephenharperreading.ca, where he goads our Prime Minister into reading works that promote stillness of being), and Ang Lee is obviously amazing, but I just can't possibly get behind another 3D film because, well, I hate them.
Here's Why
1. I hate the one-size-fits-all 3D glasses. They always push on the sides of my head, and make the crevice between my ear and my head hurt. People have told me it's because I don't wear glasses, but that doesn't make my poor skin feel any better. Also, if you're unlucky enough to get a smudge on the lens, it's almost impossible to get it off. You might as well just poke the weird 3D plastic out of the frames and pretend like everything is alright.
2. I hate how the glasses limit your field of view. Ya, it's great that bullets flying at me look like they're an inch from my nose, but what about the sides of the screen? I hate that I have to turn my head left and right depending on where the action is. I'm a centre-sitting film-going individual primarily so I don't have to crane my neck like some slack-jawed moron to see what's going on. Films are made to be viewed as a complete work stuck in a 1.85:1 aspect ratio screen. It annoys me when portions of it are cut off because my ridiculous 3D glasses are too thick.
3. Most of all, I hate how whole-heartedly Hollywood has embraced 3D technology as the be all, end all of the industry. It seems like every major film coming out these days has been bastardized in some way to fit the 3D mold. Films now include that obligatory "Oh look, someone's throwing a can of beer to another character for no reason." ARG!!!
I feel that the profliferation of 3D technology in films has added a layer of novelty to films that has made me unable to fully immerse myself deeply in them. More often than not, I find myself taking my glasses off halfway through in an attempt to revert to the glory days of cinema film watching. It never works though (the screen's too blurry without the glasses). At the end of the day, I'll always opt for the non-3D version if it's available.
I've never been one to slam Ang Lee for his directorial prowess, but his imaginative style can sometimes be a curse. When he's on, he's on (Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon), but when he's off, he's WAYYYYYY of (Hulk). Hopefully his attempt to take a fun, yet deeply-allegorical story and adapt it into a magical journey of 3D excitement will turn out for the best. Let it be known, if he turns it into a moronic 3D in-your-face jerk-fest, I might vomit all over the place. Probably best not to sit in front of me.
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